Funny Job Experiences

Years back when I lived in Oklahoma I didn’t make enough at my first job to support the lifestyle I wanted or needed. (My spending habits didn’t help matters either.)

So to support myself I worked two jobs most of the time and sometimes I even held three jobs.

One of the jobs I had was working at a Texaco convenience store. The pay was not great but wow the experiences I had were just too funny. It was at this job that I met some of the funniest people and strange ones too.

I saw my first Drag Queen; had to shut off pumps from boys not paying attention while gawking at a little hottie bent over filling up her sports car. It was a never ending trail of funny events. I had a guy that bought beer from me every day that claimed to be Vince Gill’s older brother. I challenged this guy to bring him by sometime since I loved his music. Much to my surprise it was his brother and I got some albums autographed by him.

I worked at Texaco stations all over the OKC area. And the one where this next story comes from was located in the perfect spot where there were to major interstates and a high volume street. We were so busy we had to have two people working all the time. One person stocking; cleaning; and helping take money during busy times. The other person basically stood there all day turning on pumps and taking money.

One afternoon there must have been a wreck on the interstate. I had worked all day and it was late evening. My co-worker was a black lady named Samantha. I told her if she would run get us dinner I’d pay for it. I had been working about 15 hours at this point and I was starving. So Samantha went to get us something to eat.

Right after she left this car drove up with four teenagers that had to be 16-17 years old. You could tell they were on a double date. The two boys came in the store and trying to shock me yelled out asking if we carried condoms. I told them they were on the wall and pointed to where they were. Of course they were packaged in thee packs.

They brought the package to the counter and put it down. I rang it up and they didn’t have enough money. So these young men went back out to the car and you could see them digging through ashtrays and glove boxes trying to get enough money to pay for the condoms. They came back in the store a little more humbled just to find out they were about five cents short. Of course at this point I’m feeling pitty on them and said not to worry about it.

One of the boys looked up at me and asked if they came in a smaller size. Being the quick wit I am and the lack of control when it comes to my mouth I popped right back and said “If these are too big maybe you shouldn’t be playing with them”. I knew he meant fewer in the package, but it’s not what he said.

The other boy could have crawled under the door after that comment. I knew from that comment if I had been turned in to the office I’d loose my job. I just felt that if they had nerve enough to write this one up it would be worth it.

Samantha seemed to be gone forever because I was so tickled it was all I could do to stand there and take money from the customers. The wreck had been cleared and our business was really picking up. When she got back I had to go to the cooler and just let it out. All she could hear was me in the cooler just howling. I finally pulled it together and came back to the counter.

Samantha dated a young white man about my age. So I told her the story and she stood there with a straight face and replied "It must have been white boys if the condoms were too small".

I was no good the rest of the night because I was chuckling the whole time. I’m sure it has as much to do with being over tired as the event.

I doubt I’ll ever forget this story.

Trip last week

I’m not sure how all you folks write so often from home. I always get preoccupied and don’t ever sit down to write anything. You must be much more disciplined than me.

Last week on the drive from Arkansas to South Carolina I took a few pictures to share with everyone. One of those was in Birmingham, AL. We were on the loop around town and I saw this replica of the Statue of Liberty. It was so beautiful I had to share it with everyone.
On my post last week I told you I felt we had it made when we crossed the Mississippi River. On the way home I noticed that we saw the Kudzu again once we were on the East side of the river. They have it west of the Mississippi but not like we have in the east. This vine crawls all over everything and grows up to a foot a day. I don’t have pictures of it but someday I’ll have to get a picture and post it.

The girls were both very good on the trip. The cat “Pez” hates to get packed up and travel. Once we get her in the car she is really pretty good. She’s the only one with a bathroom on the road. Sheeot (the dog) is just as happy as can be if you put her near an AC vent. She spent a lot of her time sleeping in my lap and when she was not there she was between the seats with her head on my travel pillow.

I hope everyone is having a good week. I hope to get inspired to write more in the next few days.

Are We There Yet?

I'm sure that's what Pez had on her mind as she watched the scenery go by.

Crawdads, Crayfish – Mudbugs and Southern Living

I have had a nice welcome back to the country this week. When I was a young boy we lived out on this very farm with my grandparents. My grandmother was very sick so we moved a trailer next to the house and that was home for about three years from my 4th to 7th grade years.

I had a great time on this farm as a kid. Fishing in the pond; riding mini-bikes; and just being a kid in general. I remember the lighting bugs in the evenings and seining for crawdads (crayfish) to use as bait for bigger fish.

This week the crawdads (aka – crayfish / mudbugs) were building the towers they built when I was a kid. It’s something I have not seen in years and I am sure some of you may have never seen if you are not from the south. These mud towers show up all over the place this time of year.


I guess that’s why they are having the “Mudbug Madness http://mudbugmadness.com/ ” in Shreveport this weekend. Stefan wanted to be sure I reminded people that these are the same crayfish we eat in the south. For some reason he thinks that’s weird?

Sheeot and Pez have both had a good time this week. Sheeot has been able to run in the fields and be a farm dog. Pez even took a trip outside and under the house today which is unusual for her. They are adjusted just in time to head home.

The week is nearly over and we start our trek back to the east coast this weekend. We are going to stop in Atlanta and spend the night and have a shorter drive the last day on to South Carolina. Funny how quick the time has went. We arrived here a week ago today and it just doesn’t seem like we have been here that long.

Here are a few pictures of where we have called home this week.

DTV Transition

Well we got mom all setup for the Digital TV transition that is due on June 12. Originally I thought this will be simple enough, we hook-up the converter boxes to the current TV; scan for channels and we’re done. How naïve of us to think that would be it.

Mom lives on the edge of nowhere and the nearest TV station is about 100 miles to the south of her. Now she is only two miles from the courthouse square in Magnolia. Cable TV is not provided outside the city limits (which mom is about 10 feet out of).

We have always used an outdoor antenna attached to the house. Years ago we got three TV stations, then it went down to two and a few weeks back she was down to one station. Thank God it was ABC. I would have had to rent a motel to see Desperate Housewives and Dancing with the Stars.

The thought of getting Satellite TV just turns mom’s stomach because the cost. Sure it starts out low, and then you have all the add-ons if you want TV in more than one room, then rate increases and having to depend on them. Her wish was to simply have her two TV stations that she has had for years. So she set the bar low enough we should be able to swing it off.

I hooked up the DTV box and scanned for new channels. Nothing! I think a few profanities to myself and try it on a different TV. Still Nothing.

Being on the edge of nowhere there are not many options for help. I break down and find Radio Shack who explains to me that you have to have both VHF and UHF antenna to get the transmissions. Well we don’t have the right antenna on the house so the project just mushroomed. So while we are there we do fact finding and are told we can’t use the old flat cords we had used and we also need to install coax cable.

We spent the better part of a day pulling cables in the house, and another day taking down the old antenna and putting up the new one. We ended up getting the basic two channels (3 & 6). But each channel sends multiple signals so channel 3 has three settings 3.1, 3.2 & 3.3. On one is ABC, the next is always local weather and the last is the local news that repeats over and over like CNN Headline News (only the local version).

Channel 6 has HD (High Definition) on one and SD (Standard Definition) on the other. Then in some rooms I get an additional channel with two digital numbers showing the same programs.

So now we are out $40 in converter boxes; $90 in a new antenna and $100 in coax cable and splitters. Mom decided she wanted a TV in her bathroom where she can watch while putting on her makeup. So she picked out a nice 19” HD TV. The picture in her bathroom is better than I get with Cable in my living room.

I also read on ( http://www.dtv.gov/ ) that many stations are not transmitting full strength right now. Once the conversion happens they will increase the signals. There is a wealth of information on the website. The only issue there is most folks who use antenna’s for TV don’t have computers or internet to read those websites.

I think this transition will leave a ton of people without TV. We just happened to be at moms at the right time to prevent her from having problems. I never expected it to be such a big ordeal. I think June 12 will end up being the real Y2K.

The Big Event - Magnolia Blossom Festival - Part 2

OK, OK. I’ve been lazy and have not written about the second half of the Magnolia Blossom Festival / World Championship Steak Cook Off.

We went back to the square about 5:45 PM and stood in line to get our steaks. I heard there were 5000 steaks cooked and served. They let people enter from all four corners of the square and in less than an hour all the steaks are served and gone. The tickets are $15 and you get a salad, drink, baked potato, steak and desert. The steaks are 16 oz Ribeye’s.

Mom, Stefan my Aunt Jeanette and I all got our steaks and found a table. Jeanette’s twin JoAnn came to join us and we split up the food and she ended up with quite a meal too.

After the meal we went and found our spot for the announcements of the winners of the cook-off, parade and all that jazz. Then the concert started with Aaron Tippin. He was pretty big in country music in the Mid-90’s. He has since faded from the spotlight. He has his own recording label now and has a new album of trucker songs with some of the old trucking songs. He is a high energy concert to watch and it was a good show.

I’ve been playing lazy and not doing much on the computer. Yesterday we started working on getting mom ready for the Digital TV Switch over on June 12. It’s not as simple as they make it sound. I’ll write about that later.

The Big Event - Magnolia Blossom Festival - Part 1

Well today’s the big day in Magnolia. The Blossom Festival is Friday and Saturday with most of the events taking place on Saturday. The festival started years ago as the “Arts Festival”. 20 years ago they added the “World Championship Steak Cook-off” which now takes up most of the festival.

We started off the day watching the parade of cookers going down Main Street. These are our chef’s for the big event this evening. They limit the number of cookers to 65 each year due to limited space on the square. They always have to turn teams away. So I guess that’s good.

The courthouse square (downtown) is where all the cookers are parked. The square fills up with the smoke and smells of the cookers. The art show is on the Courthouse Lawn and all the shops on the square are having a busy day with all the tourists. There were 4000 steak tickets sold at $15 each.

In addition to the parade there are car shows, dog shows, bike shows and all sorts of events. Below are some pictures of the parade and the car show. Later tonight we will go back for the steaks and the concert.

This cooker is a rocket, and as you can tell I didn't have a wide enough camera to get the whole thing.

The crowds were going wild. I'm sure this lady would appreciate her picture being on the internet.

Stefan found the car he want's to drive home.
This old Model A had the instruction manual and tools with it.

Well enough for now... Time for that nap. We have a long night ahead of us.

Greetings from LA - (Lower Arkansas)

Well we have our 1,000 miles of driving behind us. The first night we drove from Myrtle Beach to Oxford, Alabama (about half way between Atlanta and Birmingham). We spent the night there and made the remainder of the trip yesterday. We took I-20 all the way to Minden, LA and then headed north from there.

Both the girls (Pez and Sheott) did well on the trip. Of course we had plenty of potty breaks along the way and treats were handed out. As you can see from the picture of Sheeot she was just fine with the trip. This picture was taken at the Welcome Center in Mississippi.

I’m not sure which travel is the hardest (business or personal). It was a chore getting the whole family ready to roll – generally I only worry about myself. I can tell you it was a nice change to travel by car instead of fighting my way through the airports. You get to see so many things on the ground along the way.

I always feel like I’ve made it when I cross the Mississippi river. We are still a long way from mom but after 800 miles a couple hundred more miles seems minimal. The river was up this trip I guess from all the rains up north. I’ve seen this river up to the tops of the levies before and it was not that bad but it was touching both levies and was plenty full.

Tomorrow is the big Blossom Festival in Magnolia. We will go watch the parade of cookers in the morning, then go see the art show. Later in the evening we will go have our Steaks at the World Champion Steak Cookoff. After that there is a concert with Aaron Tippin. That will be the kick-off to my week long vacation. We don’t have any huge plans other than to NOT WORK.

The next travel destination

I am home office this week but I head out on vacation at the end of the week. I will be going to see mom in Magnolia Arkansas and going to the Magnolia Blossom Festival. This festival started as an art show years ago and my mom used to display some of her paintings there.

Through the years they have added the World Championship Steak Cook-off and many other events (concerts, dog shows, car shows, etc.). Last year we went back to this festival. It was the first time I had been there in 20+ years. Funny I’ll get to see two years back to back.

What people think I do on the road

A few weeks back while watching TV the Residence Inn commercial came on. I asked Stefan if this was what he thought my life on the road was like. He told me he was certain this is what life on the road is like.

I can tell you it’s not quite like this. First off there is not a curtain rod made out there that could hold me. And I’m pretty sure there is not a Residence Inn with ceilings that high. I guess I might need to change brands and give this a shot sometime.

And Beck - Thanks for the instructions on how to post "Youtube" links on my Blog. I guess you can tell they made sense to me.

What’s in the iPod? – Gladys Knight

I wrote the words to this song in a Mothers Day card to my mom some years back. The song is called “You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me”.

Gladys Knight picked a line out of the song “between each line of pain and glory” to become the title of her autobiography.

Every time I hear this song I think about my mom. She has dedicated her life to me. She has seen me through good times, great times, bad times and sad times. She has been my biggest fan and my harshest critic. She has seen me through relationships, break-ups, trying to find my beliefs and coming to terms with myself. She has been there to support me through financial hardships and seen me gain my own financial independence. She has watched me grow from a boy to a man. And over the years we have become more than Mother and Son we have become Friends.

My mom is quick to tell me she is proud of me and that she is glad she has me as a son. In previous blogs I have written about how much it helps to have a cheering squad. The encouragement never stops from her. There are so many children out there that are not as fortunate as me. Many moms don’t have the time to give their children. I consider myself very lucky that my mom had the time and the desire both.

I am very proud of my mom. The kindness she shows everyone puts her in a special place. She is quick to lend a helping hand to family, friends and even strangers. Even to this day in her 70’s she takes time from her life to drive people places that can’t drive for one reason or the other. She will hop on an airplane and fly to my house to watch animals and when she is there she is a non-stop Eveready Bunny cleaning, washing dishes/laundry or cooking.

After reading all of this, read the words to the song and you will know why it holds a special place in my heart.

You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me – Gladys Knight

I’ve had my share
Of life’s ups and downs
But fate’s been kind
The downs have been few

I guess you could say
That I’ve been lucky
I guess you could say
That it’s all because of you

If anyone should ever write my life story
For whatever reason there might be
You’ll be there
Between each line of pain and glory

Because you’re the best thing
That ever happened to me
You’re the best thing
That ever happened to me

There have been times
When times were hard
But always, somehow I made it
I made it through

Because for every moment
That I’ve spent hurting
There was a moment
That I’ve spent just loving you

If anyone should ever write my life story
For whatever reason there might be
You’ll be there
Between each line of pain and glory

Cause you’re the best thing
That ever happened to me
You’re the best thing
That ever happened to me

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there that read my post. I’m sure you have children that can agree that you are between each line of pain and glory in their lives; and that you are the best thing that ever happened to them too.

It’s Cheaper to Bribe Housekeeping

I wrote earlier this week about how much I loved the shampoo that the Embassy Suites leaves in the room. I also stated I could not find it to purchase anywhere. Of course I was told to GOOGLE-IT and given a post where I could buy it.

Once I saw the price of $24.95 plus $7.95 for shipping making the 16 oz bottle cost $32.90 or $2 per ounce. I decided it was cheaper to bribe the housekeeping staff.

So each day I left a few dollars as a tip. I wrote a note thanking the housekeeper for the extra shampoo and asking if they would please leave more. Positive notes and saying Thank You can open a lot of doors and get you a lot of things.

The haul this week was pretty good…

20 Shampoos
15 Bars of Soap
9 Hand Lotions
7 Conditioners
7 Extra Coffee Packets
6 Extra Bottles of water

Now mind you I only asked for Shampoo. So all the other stuff is “BONUS”.

Not only did I score with my BONUS - my room was in perfect shape every day. Not a speck of dust, no streaks on the mirrors, etc. I mean my room was sparkling clean from top to bottom. I always had fresh towels and every detail in the room was covered.

And for roughly $10 I have quite a haul to take home. Oh and the shipping and handling is free since I am Platinum on Delta and I can check my bag for free. Mind you I never check a bag but since I have so much liquid I’m going to have to today.

Here’s a quick peek at my haul this week. Those who know me well know I don’t pass up a freebie. So you can get a good laugh at my haul.

Like they say.. Once a Ho, always a Ho.

Who’s in the seat next to you?

I have found through the years I’m not as social as I used to be. In the past when I traveled I was the little jabbery kid in the seat next to you. I would introduce myself and visit with you (if you’d let me). Through the years I have become the grumpy old business traveler who finds his seat and minds his own business. Actually I guess I would make a good kid now "don’t speak unless you are spoken to."

The company I work for is a worldwide company and we have employees all over the place. A few weeks back I sat in my seat and shy of Hello I flew from Atlanta to Orange Counta. Just before landing the lady in the seat next to me started visiting with me. Come to find out she worksfor the same company and works for one of my old bosses I had 10 years back in Chicago. Talk about a small world. If only we had started talking sooner I might have some dirt on someone.

The next week the lady in the seat right behind me saw me reading material from work. After I was done reading and putting things away she asked me which division of the company I worked for. Come to find out there is another person on a flight with me cross country from the same company.

I’m not above visiting with a person in the seat next to me if they speak first. I think that’s the way most business travelers are these days. We are heading to our destinations; we are busy and just try to mind our own business.

You can really meet some neat people on airplanes. On my trip to Portland I sat next to a gentleman who had a great accent. I asked him where the accent was from. He was from the Netherlands. He was a salesman that sells flower bulbs from Holland to distributors. He lives in the US now and has started his new life. I find it amazing when a person can pick-up and move to another country and start a new life. It takes a strong person to do this and I have known quite a few in my life that have done it.

On my way home from Portland I sat next to a lady who's 85. She was from Prague. We talked about her life in Czech Republic and how she ended up in the US. Her story was one worth hearing. She had moved from Prague to Chicago and a few weeks after that her home country was taken over and became a Communist state. Can you imagine leaving your country and having the government overthrown like that? Czech Republic was under communist rule for 40 years until the 80’s. This lady was going home to meet friends of hers she had not seen in years.

This lady’s story only begins here. She showed me a picture that was taken the week before where she had been snow skiing on Mount Hood. She had her first and only child when she was 40 years old. Her Husband lived to 96. During their life together she had lived in Central, South and North America. We chatted off and on for the entire trip from Portland to Atlanta. If I can be as healthy as this lady at 85 I have no problems living that long.

I probably seemed to be a very smart person to her because I had just watched a travel channel special about Prague so I knew much more about her country than most people know. It was just dumb luck on my part that I'm like to watch TV.

The next week I sat next to a man from Toronto who was returning from Cancun. We didn’t speak much until we were almost to Toronto. I mentioned we were over Lake Erie and about to fly over Niagara Falls. From there on we had a conversation just to find out we are in the same industry. Him in Canada and me in the USA. Geez how many healthcare software consultants can there be out there?

This week I was right back to my grumpy old self and didn’t talk to the person in the seat next to me. So instead I spent that energy on my co-workers and playing once I was on the ground.

South Beach

What a busy week in South Florida.

To start off I am traveling with co-workers I have never worked with before. I knew the names of two of the people but had never worked with them. To be quite honest I could not have told you what they looked like before our trip this week. The other was someone I had never met at all but have spoken on the phone with. Funny one of the people I met for the first time is our new Director.

Tuesday we started off having lunch together so we would know what each other looked like before we went on-site to the client. It’s funny but when you work remote and travel all the time it’s not uncommon that you work with people for years and never know what they look like.

At the end of the day they asked me if I wanted to go with them to South Beach which is about an hour south of where we are. It’s really nice when your in a group you tend to see more things. I didn’t take my camera because I had been to South Beach before and I didn’t want to look like the tourist. That was a HUGE mistake.

One of the co-workers had a friend that owns a condo on South Beach and I didn’t know we were going to look at the condo. It was about 20 stories up overlooking the ocean. The view was so wonderful. The condo had Italian marble and was decorated just perfect. I felt bad about walking on the floors because the whole condo had less dust in it than my laptop bag.

From there we walked South Beach and had dinner at a very nice dinner at Caffe Milano. It was nice to sit and get to know everyone on the team.

Then tonight I had dinner with a co-worker I had not seen in about 5 years. We worked on the implementation team several years before I left and came back to the company. She lives here in Boca Raton and I could not pass through without having dinner with her one night.

Tomorrow night I’m having dinner with a co-worker from last job. I have not seen her in over a year and I’m looking forward to just sitting back and catching up.

As you can tell the South Florida trip has been jam packed with stuff to do. Too bad I’m expected to work full days down here. Who has time for that when there are so many people to visit?

Weeks like this remind me why I enjoy working on the road. There are times we get beat down on the road and cop an attitude about how tough it is. But there are very few people who work the 9-5 jobs that get to see and do what I do. This week has been one of those rare treats on the road. I wish I had pictures to share with everyone.

All Four Corner's

As of today I have hit all four corners of the country in a month. One month ago I was in the Los Angeles area, then Portland, Toronto and today Palm Beach, FL. I am really glad to be back in South Florida. When I worked at my last job I got to come down here quite a bit since we had three facilities in Florida.

I am staying at the Embassy Suites this week which is one of my favorite chains. They provide a cooked to order breakfast (food wins my vote every time). There is also a happy hour each night (wasted on me). You always have two rooms, one with eating area and couch and a separate bedroom. I am on the top floor and the ceilings are always higher on the top floor. These are about 12 feet. They actually have the rooms decorated very nice with accent walls.

The Embassy has the best shampoo. It’s a Rosemary Infused shampoo by Bloom. I can’t find it anywhere to buy so you know I’ll be lifting as much as I can to haul home.