The Only Child

I have a lot of friends and co-workers who only have one child. I am often asked what it’s like to be an only child. These friends often worry that they are not being fair to the child by not giving them a brother or sister.

Being an only child I can tell you it’s not all that bad. The only child will generally grow up faster because they are always in the company of adults. My mom and dad filled in for a brother or sister by playing games and spending time with me. Because of this I was much closer to my parents. I never had to deal with sibling rivalries.

I did get to be a kid by playing with my cousins and neighbor kids so not having a sibling simply meant I got my own room, my own toys. I had all of my parent’s attention, encouragement, support and time.

If the truth were told if I had a brother or sister I’d have probably been forced to eat or kill them. I was never one for sharing and it’s a running joke to this day that I’ve never had to share and I’m not going to start now.

There are so many questions I am asked when people find out I’m an only child. Like what are you going to do when you get old? What about if a parent gets ill? What if you get ill? The answers to all these questions are… You just deal with it. I don’t have children but I have a partner, family and friends. With that combination who needs a brother or sister.

So many people think only children are spoiled. That generalization is simply not true or fair. I know a lot of only children that had to earn their way in life just like big families. My parents gave me what they could but they also didn’t spoil me by showering me with gifts from guilt for having an only child.

I can really say I appreciate what my parents did when they raised me. I didn’t come with an instruction manual. I know my mom looked for it a few times to figure out how to shut off the mouth I had in my teens. The good part for her was that she always knew it was me when something had been done. She didn’t have to figure out which child it was. That part I could have done without… The taking ownership for what I did.

One of the ladies I am working with out here has a daughter who’s an only child. Our conversation is what brought up this topic. We have talked about her daughter and what a little lady she is at 10. They live in a small town up the Columbia River and hearing about this town reminded me of my youth.

When I was young the world was a different place. You didn’t think about people stealing children. I had freedoms kids don’t have these days. At the ripe old age of nine I would take my bicycle and ride it all over town in Spring Hill, LA.

I made my rounds in town, I had stops where I could get cookies, play with dogs and visit everyone. And strange enough it generally was not children I stopped to visit. My mom never worried about me, she knew the route and how to find me (even without a cell phone). I knew when I had to be home and I’d plan my route to be there on-time.

One of my stops was to see my Aunt Jo Ann who was a RN and worked at the hospital there. She drove the 20-30 miles down from her home in Arkansas. I had her work schedule down and I’d show up and get a piece of bubble gum and say hello to her. I’d ride my bike several miles and walk in that hospital just like I owned it (some things just never change). All my aunts are special in their own way. Jo Ann was the one that would take a pack of kids to the Ice Capades, Swimming or even to the state fair. She was awesome and that piece of bubble gum was worth the ride.

There are so many of these memories of my youth I could write a book. And I guess over time with this blog I’ll have a good start.

For those of you with only children don’t worry about it. They probably like it.