10 Years

I have decided that I wanted to write some of the memories of mom down.  It’s been 10 years this month since I last wrote on my blog.  I didn’t really write it that long, but so glad those thoughts are still out there.  Looking back at them brings me happiness, it reminds me of what I was thinking then; along with some very good memories of my life in general.

I’m pretty sure nobody will ever see this blog since I’m not really advertising it.   Just a way for me to deal with the biggest loss in my life; the loss of my last living parent; my Beautiful mom.  Loosing dad was really tough, but Mom was there to help me through it.  I never considered what a loss that had to be for her too, she had already lost both her parents, and now her husband.

Looking back at the things I wrote all those years ago, I found a beautiful post where I talked about what was in my iPod at the time.   And how the song “Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me” always made me think of my mom.   I read that I had written it in a card years before.  Funny to this day that song is one of my favorites and I was so glad to read that I had shared it with mom.   I found printed versions of my blog at mom’s house in her drawer.   I know she loved to read them as it was a part of her son. 

I think the saddest part of this healing, is knowing that I never gave mom grandchildren to remember her beyond me.  I’m OK with when I’m gone, memories fading of me.   But my mom was a special person, and if I live another 30-35 years then I will be the one taking some of the last memories of her with me.   There are a few cousins younger, and some of their kids that might have a few memories of her.

I hope by writing some of my memories of my mom, then when my memory starts fading, I can come back and read how I felt.  Some of the stories we shared together, and the memories we made.  If nothing else, I know I have been blessed beyond measure to have had both of my parents.  To be honest I have a great family unit even as broken as we might seem to the outside.    I also have some dear friends that help me carry the burdens life loads on our backs.   I consider myself one of the luckiest people on the planet.