DELTA – The true meaning

DELTA = Delayed Through Atlanta. Let me tell you it’s so common that flights are delayed here that I’d be surprised if they left on-time.

Today I’m sitting at the gate on a flight that is already 1.5 hours delayed. They keep saying it’s because of a late inbound aircraft. Then they tell us it’s being towed over from the hanger and has to have security screening before we leave since it’s the first flight of the day. Mind you it’s NOON didn’t they know this flight was on the schedule? They sold 74 seats and 12 extras they don’t have.

I find it amusing to watch all the business travelers that are pacing around attached to cell phones freaking out that they are going to miss their meetings. All I can think is they should have booked the earlier flights if they had meeting today. I am obviously calloused to the whole situation.

Sad part is on Friday they did the same thing in Houston on the first flight out. They ferried over the WRONG plane and didn’t know until the crew got there. So they had to move the plane that was there and bring us the right aircraft.

I’m not a rocket scientist but don’t these Airlines have computer systems to help coordinate all this stuff. I trust these people to fling me through the air in a tin can at 30,000 feet and they can’t even get the right plane to the gate knowing full good and well what should be there and when. I understand delays for Maintenance and Weather. But for stuff like this it’s a bit ridiculous.

Intercourse, PA

I have a ton of funny stories from my travels over the years. It’s not uncommon that I will work with people for a long time and never see them face to face. It’s the beauty of being able to work from home office.

Years back I was assigned an account in Amish area in Pennsylvania. I was meeting a project manager I had never met before named Jennifer. We actually met in the Cincinnati airport and flew into Harrisburg, PA together. That was our first meeting although we had worked with each other for months on e-mail and phone calls.

I had heard so much about Amish cooking and quilts. When I go to a new area I like to get out and see things, and Jennifer was game for about anything too.

So that night when we checked into the Hilton Garden Inn in Lancaster, PA we asked for suggestions for places to eat Amish food. They kindly told us about a place called “Good and Plenty”. The place was “family style” meaning when enough people show up to fill a table you are all seated together. The only decision you make is your drink.

Jennifer was a good 10 years younger than me and I was just under 40 at the time. She was reading the directions as I was driving. Jennifer started chuckling and saying this must be a typo. I asked her what she meant and she said we were to drive to the exit for “Bird in Hand” and “Intercourse”.

I agreed with her and that we needed to let the hotel know about this typo when we got back. How embarrassing not to catch a typo like this. About five miles later there was the sign as big as could be - Bird in Hand / Intercourse. Of course we both thought what a strange name for a street. Someone had a warped sense of humor.

We had our dinner and it was really good down home cooking. After dinner I wanted to go look at some of the quilts I had heard so much about. The lady behind the cash register was in her late 70’s or maybe even early 80’s. I thought who better to tell me where to find good quilts. Right?

Jennifer was standing behind me when I asked and this little old lady for help. The lady replied that she had a “brochure on intercourse” she could give me. Jennifer could not contain herself all I heard was the clicking of her high heel shoes on the tile floor heading out the door. As the door was closing I heard her roaring laughing. I’m surprised she could keep herself standing when she was laughing that hard.

Of course she left me there to hold a straight face and try to have a conversation with this little old lady. All that kept crossing my mind was “lady I don’t need a brochure on intercourse, I have that one figured out”.

Come to find out there is a town named “Intercourse, PA”. If you have ever seen the movie “Witness” with Harrison Ford you have seen the town on the big screen. It’s a quaint little town and yes they had some really good quilts.

It’s one thing to have a good friend with you when you have these type conversations. But to have someone you barely know with you it just makes it quite a challenge to maintain your composure. Least to say Jennifer and I became fast friends after this since we had about the funniest story from the road that year.

I really enjoyed my time there in the Amish country. I learned a lot about the Amish and since our implementation lasted 9 months. I got to see the area in all the seasons. It was fun to see the horse and buggies and the people working the fields. The farms were so beautiful and the houses were always kept in perfect condition.

I took my mom there on one of my visits and we took a hot air balloon ride over the Amish farms. It was the first time I had been in a hot air balloon and the view from above was spectacular. I would highly recommend a hot air balloon ride to anyone and a visit to this area of the country. It was a most wonderful place to visit.

**IT Happens 2

I thought everyone would like to know the outcome from my post yesterday.

The Hilton has bent over backwards trying to make up for our little event. I think they have taken it more serious than I did. Yesterday when I got home from work there was a nice basket of snacks and an ice bucket full of beer in the room. Of course I don’t drink so the beer did me no good but Stefan had one.

There was a card apologizing for the event and telling me they had credited me the nights stay. A very nice gesture, but since my expenses are paid it didn’t help me other than make me loose a few Hilton Points for this week.

There was a coupon for a free meal for two at the restaurant in the lobby (which is in the category of Ruth Chris). The meal we had for two was over $125.00. My meals are paid for since I’m here on business and the tip alone was what I generally spend on a meal.

I told Stefan that I needed to remember this trick. If you need a free meal toss some dog poop in your room and report it. Of course that conversation went downhill really fast with a bunch of laughing along the way. His only concerns included how do you collect the specimen, get it through security at the airport, etc.. As you can tell we gave it way more thought than it deserved…

Again, it’s one of those events you just have to laugh off and move on.

**IT Happens

Well this week I have another one of those funny experiences from the road that I will forget in time.

I’m staying at my favorite Hilton, in my favorite corner room overlooking the park this week. I was very happy to find they had assigned me to my room when I arrived.

We had a long flight from the east coast and we went to Multnomah Falls and hiked to the top of the falls (1 mile hike going 700 feet to the top). We were pretty tired when we got here and just crashed.

Yesterday morning I woke up at my normal 5AM and started my day reading e-mails and getting ready. I ran down to get breakfast (to-go) and came back to the room. The chair was not close enough to the table so I moved it a little bit for comfort.

Stefan was at the desk on the computer and he looked at me and asked if that was a leaf on the floor next to me or a turd? Now mind you neither of those really look alike to me, and sure enough I look down and there is a present someone’s little animal left us.

Well I will spare everyone reading this the picture I took. But I did not spare the person at the front desk from seeing it. I certainly didn’t want to be hit with a pet cleaning fee when my pets are at home in South Carolina. Of course the front desk person was mortified. I wasn’t pitching a fit, just stating facts. They know I’m a good customer since I have stayed here 7-8 times since September.

Last night when I got home from touring Portland with Stefan there as a voice mail that they had drinks and snacks they wanted to deliver to our room. Of course at that time of night I am not interested in room service.

Really they should clean the carpets (that’s what the pet fee’s are supposed to be for). It reminds me why I wear socks in my hotel rooms.

I had to laugh it off. When we got home Stefan said I should report to the front desk that someone stole my turd from my room. Or even better report another one that was left overnight. I had a good laugh and decided “It Happens” and just let go of it.